Baby-Stepping My Way to a Win

In my post last week, I shared about my multiple failed attempts at staying boy-free for three months—an arbitrary goal I’d made up in my head.

The idea, I told myself, is that if I finally got comfortable being by myself for that amount of time, I’d be more discerning when I re-entered the dating scene about who I give my time and energy to. 

It’s a nice sentiment, and I’d still like to try. 

And also, I’m coming to terms with the fact that maybe I set the bar a little too high for myself. 

After trying and falling down one too many times, I’ve decided that the best course of action is to give myself a bit of grace in this department. 

Instead of striving for a three-month single stint, maybe “atomic-habitting” myself to victory is the way to go: start small, build over time. 

What does that mean? It means setting a new, more attainable goal for myself. 

For those that aren’t familiar with James Clear’s Atomic Habits, the premise of the book is that the best way to build a habit is to set an easily achievable goal everyday that you can deliver on without fail and then slowly scale up. 

For example, if your end goal is to workout on a daily basis, start off with committing to just one single push-up every day. In a couple weeks, build that to two. And so on, and so on until you’re doing full-blown workouts with ease. 

Breaking down my goal into smaller time increments may just be my route to success. Instead of boxing myself into a “three months or bust” attitude from the get-go, starting with just two weeks or one month—and then building from there—seems more doable. 

So, that’s my new plan: one month of singledom. No texts, no Instagram follows, no dates. Just me, myself, and I. 

And if all goes according to plan, I’ll add to it.

If not, a smaller increment will be waiting to catch my fall.